005 The Unification Theorem

"Make ideas as simple as possible, but never simplify them"
-Albert Einstein-

Just so that you don't panic when reading the title and the initial quote, which is from none other than Einstein, this blog will not turn into a scientific journal which goes on and on about some new scientific theories or some random incident that is worth writing a paper on it, like a lab accident insurance report for that matter.

So, don't panic. I just have a habit of naming certain significant events in life with a scientific names because it saves time actually repeating the whole story to people who are familiar with it, sounds more formal in intelligible discussions, and reflects on how exciting my life is, which has adreaneline levels comparable to a cupcake in the freezer. So anyway, to the main story of this blog.

The Unification Theorem is not some social model on how people should, em..., unite in certain life-changing or (excuse me for this) life-creating activities which for some strange reasons is found more conducive in darkened rooms. Nor does it explain why humans move in clusters known as cliques, where members of these multi-organism organism are stuck together very tightly. This theory actually just reviews our positions in our own lives.

This is originally a very old blog entry from the first phase of blogging in may. However, the story series is an expression of this theorem, with states that we are in fact reducible to several personalities, and they appear to us as voices, something like in an animated show. We never actually see the people in the show but we hear their voices and see their effects on us. Same goes here, we are a result of several different personalities unified into one person, and we choose, naturally or delibrately which personality is the facade we show to the public and which is confined to the subconscious. But, there are all confined into one person. So, it is up to us to choose who we want to be. See the unification...?

004 Election Fever

In the wake of the recent Singapore General Elections, I am now right in the middle of another tide of election fever in school. In the Singapore GE, the incumbent party PAP won with a majority of 82 seats out of 84, and by using complex mathematicl formulae and statistics, we can conclude that the opposition has won 2 seats. The PAP won with a landslide victory and 66.6% of votes. But all this is not important now.

Currently, in my school, certain students who have been selected from nominations, and interviews are running for student council, the so-called most prestigous and exciting Co-curricular Activity in school. Of course some of us couldn't be bother to trouble ourselves with it, despite all that aforementioned benefits because we have better things to do. Not really, it's because after the interviews, there is a wonderful and fun social activity called campaigning for elections, and everyone just enjoy watching the candidates doing ridiculous stuff around the school like sticking stickers on people's lockers, chairs, clothes, ties, toilet seats, uriners in boys' toilets, dustbin and who knows where else. Oh, and there are also crazy publicity stunts by supporters of the candidates, but let's not go there yet. So, anyway, as the neutral observer and would be voter who will exercise my voting rights in about a week's time, i can't help but observe what some people do, amid all that sticker sticking, shouting, screaming, and talking.

So, here's the first scenario...

You walk into the toilet, hoping to urinate or do whatever people do in toilets nowadays, and as you enter the cubicle, you close the door. Lo and behold, as the door shuts, you catch a glimpse of something pink stuck on the door. Out of curiosity, you look closer and it reads, "vote of X". "Oh, well", you think, as you relief yourself. Then, as you flush, you notice something on the flush, and i guess you know what it reads. Fine then, you leave the cubicle and you wash your hands at the washbasin, and guess what, another sticker. No point reading it, you say to yourself. Hoping to get away from the craziness, you leave the toilet. As the toilet door swings shut, you notice something strange. Turning around, you see a sticker on the toilet sign (where the head of the man or woman figure used to be), and ,congratulations, you are halfway to insanity.

Not convinced how bad it is yet, here's another example...

Once upon a time, students used to have a bad fashion sense. There go around in outlandish styles, and skimpy clothes, so skimpy that any passing man (in a woman's case, of course) would immediately lose his orientation and hit a passing car, MRT door, dustbin, pillar, another amorous guy, unidentified flying objects etc. So, to avoid accidents, injuries, death, explaining to insurance companies about injuries, facing members of the press and alien sightings and abductions, schools have introduced uniforms so that all students actually look decent for a change and of course, to avoid accidents. However, despite all that effort, students have found new uses for school uniforms i.e. as some notice board, or billboard to place stickers on them (oh, you know what stickers) and once again displaying the bad fashion sense inherent in them. I mean, they walk around with stickers, ice cream sticks, cardboards, files, little pieces of papers and masking tape on virtually every part of the body. Of course, I don't have to mention that they look ridiculous, but as a consolation, they are actually more colourful and nicer to look at, and you find yourself staring at people whom you do not know and they produce a lot of rubbish, as in a matter of days, you will find pieces of goodness know what all over the floor. Frankly, they look like black or blackened pieces of party streamers strewn all over the floor, as if someone had a really big birthday bash. Oh, and after a few days, you will either be in a health institute or immune to all those stickers. In most cases, it is the latter, but i'm not denying that the former can happen.

Now that you know how happy i am during the election campaigning periods. I should further provide examples of the silly stunts people do in the coming blogs, if i'm not mad by then. So long...

003 The Orchard Test

Here's a quick filler. in between blogs, for those who are not so interested in bad jokes about ME teachers.

This excerpt from a short paper i wrote for fun,(not for General Paper, thankfully) on a study of human behaviour and all the other funny things humans think about. I present to you, the Orchard Test, named after Orchard Road, Singapore, a place to shop, watch movies, just hanging around, making a fool out of yourself by singing to lamp posts, and as demonstrated by this experiment, understanding human behaviour. Here goes..

...he wanted to understand the spontaneous reactions of human beings in different situation, such as in this example he had given:

We take a walk on Orchard Road one fine day, which of course will be full of somewhat pretty women and girls. Now, we would try a pickup line on a randomly selected female and judge their response to it. Is it of disgust, shock, happiness, or ignorance? Results will be compiled statistically and in depth analysis will be done to draw a conclusion on which is the best pick up line.

Of course, such ideas would be, shall we say, hard to accomplish unless we can find a male intrepid enough to go up to about a hundred strangers, saying the same thing and enduring whatever happens after that. And of course, biasness is present because we are doing this to women we do not know...

002 Plans that never go right

As quoted from the Hitchiker's Guide To the Galaxy,

"I always knew that there was something fundamentally wrong with the universe"
-Arthur Dent-

Call it a hunch, or the just plain delusion, but i will always admit that nothing will go as it should be, in life. But, i am not one who will run around preaching that man proposes and god disposes. Speaking of which, let's look at the life of an ordinary human being, with the exception of certain people, like entusiastic ME teachers. We always set plans out, say in the next twenty years or so i want to make my first milllion dollars or something along the line of aspiring to be CEO of some company that can afford to broadcast repeated lame advertisements on TV until audiences moan and groan and still make enough money annually to feed the population of Somalia. But, somehow, somehow we end up nowhere or somewhere we don't actually plan to be, like in a company which makes a tidy profit that is enough to support an earthworm. Draw your conclusions. Simply put, planning is good, without planning, buildings will collapse and scenic bridges that bends halfway across the Tebrau Straits won't be conceived and later scrapped, but getting to your goals is harder than trying to stop someone who thinks his private parts are too small from commiting suicide. But I digress.

The point is that I find planning rather futile, and only a mind-bending activity that gives us semi-confidence in life so that we can actually work towards sometimes, which time and again, fails to materialise because loopholes and potholes form all over the place and normal people do not have that high a perseverance level to face the challenges of climbing up a down moving escalator to heaven. So, technically speaking, i don't plan in the long term because i know the path up ahead is more painful and dangerous than crossing the path of my ME teacher and calling him an idiot. So, i usually plan for the coming days or weeks, which most of the time do not involve life decisions. I'm short-sighted, literally, and i don't have high aspirations for myself and follow the principle of whatever comes, comes and if it were to happen, let it be. Alas, once again i failed to reveal my background, but never mind, there are many more to come. Bye.

001 First Things First

Hello, everyone out there who may have accidentally stumbled upon upon this blog while searching on google etc. and those who actually know I have a blog, (but i don't intend to tell a lot of people). Oh, but i don't plan to actually determine who reads my blog, whether it is a discerning ME teacher who "looks" at blogs concerning him every once in while to see whether his students thinks he has an accent or some curious fellow who just has some free time.

Enough intro for now, perhaps i will elaborate on the interesting comments i made about a teacher just now later. For now, let's talk about a very strange subject, namely me. I am not a malay, despite what the name my suggest, it is simply an anagram of my real name, which is an English name, and i know those scrabble experts out there would like to have a go at it. It's easy, trust me. Why ambiguity? It's just one of my favourite words, other than quadratic and indubitable, which sounds nice when it is spoken (creates a nice feeling on the tongue, too). It's also because its meaning is vague, (this sentence itself is ambiguous, i just love the irony). But, mainly it's because i still cannot understand myself fully on the inside and that is what the aforementioned teacher vowed to set out to do with the class today, which i sincerely doubt he can do, the only thing he would achieve is making us know him better, and i am not sure if anyone wants that much info.

Now, why the blog? Perhaps i got jealous when my other friends have blogs that their concerned ME teacher can peer into and read. Who gets this much publicity in school nowadays? Or maybe i was just bored and needed something or somewhere i can jot my thoughts down other than a fortnightly journal which will be read by my dearest ME teacher, anyway. That's all for the first section of the intro, more about me and my life later, when i actually settle down to the main reasons people write blogs, that is to report their life events and thoughts. adios.